Off-menu meds for your morning-after headz

Everyone talks about the hair of the dog that bit you, but what if that dog was an alarmingly un-neutered frothing hellhound? We asked some of the area's top mixologists to whip us up some higher class, off-the-menu...hair, all of which'll be available by request only, every weekend in March. Get after it.

Rise n' Swine, at Nage (Glenn Babcock) Made to measure up to their monstrously caloric "Kill It Skillet", this foodie haven's 'tail packs in pulverized bacon, Guajillo pepper-infused vodka, horseradish, and tomato juice, whose high acidity's ability to "assist digestion" make it your guts' 1996 Jason Kidd.

Swedish Phlegm-Cutter, at Tabard Inn (Chantal Tseng) Named for a traditional morning whiskey shot, the venerable brunch stalwart's contribution contains throat-relaxing honey syrup, fresh grapefruit juice, and akvavit, a neutral grain spirit infused with "blood reviving & stomach settling" herbs like lemongrass, fresh-cut ginger, cardamom pods, and Egyptian chamomile buds, who mostly sit around gossiping about who Hosni Mubarak's sleeping with.

Daze of Milk and Honey, at Columbia Firehouse (Chris Mickey) The Old Town newcomer's dreamed up a tasty glass of avocado, honey, 10 Cane rum, and stomach-coating milk, which is then rimmed with bee pollen, a superfood that can "locate and repair imbalances existing in the body" via vitamins called "adaptogens" -- order up, before they have to leave for the Transformers III shoot.

Walk of Shame, at Open City (David Fritzler) The Woodley Park standout describes this as a "Bloody Mary and Dirty Martini spilled in your beer": a cheap American lager with dry vermouth and vodka, plus tomato, lime, and pickle juice, a dehydration-fighter famously used during the Eagles' 2000 "Pickle Juice Game", when they really kicked the Cowboys' Vlasses.

The Elixir, at Sou'Wester (Carlton McCoy) Garnished with candied orange zest & angostura bitters, the southern comfort curator's Ramos fizz offshoot's full of Grand Marnier, lemon juice, orange flower, gin, vanilla, and heavy cream/egg-whites -- chock full of cysteine, a liver-repairing compound that turns harmful "acetaldehyde into the relatively harmless acetic acid". Give it up for 8th grade (honors!) bio.

Mother's Little Helper, at Againn (Rachel Sergi) The shiny new gastropub's pint of gin/lemon juice/St.Germain/Earl Grey-infused vermouth is topped with a float of Kostritzer Black Beer, allowing the body to slowly readjust to alcohol, and the mind to slowly readjust to sitting in the head of the best damned good-looking guy in the bar.

Hair (of the dog) Tonic, at Tryst (David Fritzler) AdMo's most creative kitchen's combined 107 proof whiskey, Jager, allspice/ginger syrup, and house bitters toting four curative roots/barks, plus Angostura, which a century ago were used to ease soldiers' upset stomachs (soothing Private Ryan).