When it comes to judging a man's character through his outfit, people start with shoes -- but aren't you tired of being confused for Michael Jordan? Express your true self, with So Sick Kicks.
From a DC-born artist, SSK hand-paints designs personalized to your specs onto your canvas kicks of choice, then makes your pair as durable as any other by waterproofing them with a clear coat and heat-setting in an oven -- meaning they arrive at your door with both that new-shoe smell and that fresh-from-the-oven smell! After an initial consultation and brainstorm with the artist, you'll OK a final sketch as an eternal testament to your uniqueness; for instance, if you're a Cameroonian with "a love of traveling, Nigerian film, and gorgeous tropical beaches", you'll get palm trees, fishermen, an airplane, a beautiful sunset, and what appears to be a spool of film, a clear homage to the 2003 classic The Abuja Connection. If you don't know who you are, SSK offers a back catalog of designs that can be reproduced in your size, like "Lucha Libre", with a masked female wrestler and a mustachioed skull; "Raging Bull", with an angry, brown-gray beast; and "Mad Designer", which describes both the shoe's crazy cyborg scientist, and the shoe's maker, when she discovers the check you cut her was raging bull.
You can also take advantage of Kicks' "So Sick Special", which offers a reduced price to paint only the out-facing side of the shoe, because "what's inside" doesn't really matter...just ask Will Perdue.