The only thing worse than being seized by a desperate need is arriving at the provider only to find you must kill two hours in your car until the lip augmentation clinic opens for business. Avoid all that with WhatsOpen.com. A real-time Yellow Pages, WhatsOpen plots relevant businesses on a GMap with color-coded icons indicating whether they're currently serving customers, or shuttered tighter than Malibu Grand Prix (RIP). Search terms must actually be present in your business' name, so choose carefully: "Hunan" will bear the sweet fruit of a Henry's Hunan lunch, while "Chinese" will lead you to the headquarters of the eternally optimistic Kuomintang Chinese National Party. WhatsOpen also includes a "where is everyone" feature that pulls from social networks like Facebook and MySpace (and, upon its release, Google's GPS'd phone) to paint a picture of "what's hot at any given moment", even if that's Ob-Gyn Associates of San Francisco (try the Gyn -- it's cool!). As you'd imagine, WhatsOpen is the project of a lunatic cult, who use their "who are we" page to explain that the site's a springboard to a utopian workplace free of "the six cancers" ("mediocrity, entropy, techno-latin, oppression, info-hoarding, and bureaucracy"). Unlikely, but then again they've already solved the 7th cancer: sitting in a parking lot with a withered, bird-like kisser.