For Valentine's Day, my girlfriend took me to SoulCycle. Would I have preferred a conversation heart that says "fax me"? Yes. But I also realize that being as on-trend as possible with physical fitness is the most important thing a person can focus on. So we went. Lots of parts were great! Much better than expected, honestly. But then there were some downsides, things likely everyone reading this article has felt too. Here they are.
The locker rooms are tiny, and that other weird room that ACTUALLY has the lockers is even tinier
When I stepped into the bleached-white locker area outside the Box of Bikes, fear hit me hard. Somehow they'd managed to herd 12,000 people fitter than myself into a holding cell. They were loading up lockers, and strapping on bike shoes, and standing there silent and sick of being caged, looking like they were ready to burst out of a Higgins Boat on the beach at Normandy and KILLLLLLLL. It's pretty obvious that the room was designed to hold one class' worth of SoulCyclists, and that they totally forgot that the other class that also has stuff in lockers has to exit and sweat all over you for 10 minutes while they prep the bikes again.