If you don't have trendy clothing, you are a fitness leper
There used to be a brand called Champion that made all the coolest workout gear. I wore a Champion shirt and shorts to my SoulCycle lesson. This was not the right thing to do. All the real SoulCyclers had very tight pants with prints of geometric shapes and sometimes neon animals. The people I truly admired though, had purchased entire SoulCycle-branded outfits: tights with wheels on them, sports bras, bandanas. Why is the $54 tank top more expensive than the $46 T-shirt? Because the poor people who buy $46 T-shirts probably aren't even hot enough to show off their shoulders.
If you're a guy and don't rip that $46 T-shirt off at some point, you feel like you're not trying hard enough
And there's me, continuing to wear Champion and feeling even less like one.
Everyone puts their provided towel over the handlebars and I was bad at even that
I kept mis-aligning the towel and having it slip off said handlebars in various ways, with my impressive body weight propelling downwards in coordination with it, over and over. I think this could be solved with slightly larger towels, slightly smaller handlebars, or the allowance of free thought.
It makes you feel terrible about literally every other workout you've ever done
Sometimes I'll go to the gym for an hour and a half, and work up enough of a sweat to almost consider washing my shirt before the next time I go. Three quick minutes of SoulCycle gave me horrifyingly definitive proof that I have been focusing far too much on getting proper recovery time between sets, staying hydrated via extended trips to the water fountain, and reading engaging long-form magazine stories on my phone. The remaining 42 minutes were for dwelling on that awful fact.